1.
Teach your children to seek and love
wisdom and discernment. Encourage teens to discuss actions and words
of people they believe are wise as well as people who are not wise.
Teach them how to weigh words and to discern truth vs. deception.
Make discussing the application of wisdom enjoyable, practical, and
casually informative. Commend your child when he makes wise
decisions or comes to a wise conclusion. Remember, this process is
about your child learning to be wise, not about your informing your
child about what is wise!
Proverbs 2:10-15 (KJV) – When wisdom
entereth into thine heart, and knowledge is pleasant unto thy soul;
Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee: To
deliver thee from the way of the evil man, from the man that
speaketh froward things; Who leave the paths of uprightness, to walk
in the ways of darkness; Who rejoice to do evil, and delight in the
frowardness of the wicked; Whose ways are crooked, and they froward
in their paths:
Proverbs 3:13-18 – Happy is the man
that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth understanding. For the
merchandise of it is better than the merchandise of silver, and the
gain thereof than fine gold. She is more precious than rubies: and
all the things thou canst desire are not to be compared unto her.
Length of days is in her right hand; and in her left hand riches and
honour. Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are
peace. She is a tree of life to them that lay hold upon her: and
happy is every one that retaineth her.
Proverbs 21:12 – The righteous man
wisely considereth the house of the wicked: but God overthroweth the
wicked for their wickedness.
2. Teach your children how to
stand alone, to defend what is right, and to withstand criticism
without being self-righteous or obnoxious. (We all need to work on
these areas constantly!) Teach your child the characteristics of a
wise and strong leader by God’s standards. All Christians should
strive to be leaders who turn many to righteousness and not to be
followers who are led away from right by the majority. Demonstrate
how the crowd mentality negatively influences social networking on
the computer just as it does in any other social setting. When we
believe the “group” approves, we are emboldened to proceed without
caution, to do what we wouldn’t do alone, and to forget that those
who would please the crowd will not please the Lord in the end.
Daniel 12:3 – And they that be wise
shall shine as the brightness of the firmament; and they that turn
many to righteousness as the stars for ever and ever.
Galatians 1:10 – For do I now
persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet
pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ.
2 Timothy 3:12 – Yea, and all that
will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution. But evil
men and seducers shall wax worse and worse, deceiving, and being
deceived. But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned
and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them;
And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are
able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in
Christ Jesus.
3.
Teach real-life, problem-resolution
skills to your children. Show how basic interpersonal relationship
principles work in any circumstance that involves people, even
people communicating by computer. For instance, we can communicate
respect or disrespect and even rudeness in many ways: rolling our
eyes when someone is trying to convey something important to us,
typing in ALL CAPS during a heated computer discussion, ignoring
family members we live with in order to “network” on the computer.
There is such a thing as “Internet courtesy.” Courtesy should
characterize every form of communication. Discuss it!
Proverbs 15:23 – The heart of the
wise teacheth his mouth, and addeth learning to his lips.
Ephesians 4:31-32; 5:1-2 – Let all
bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be
put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another,
tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake
hath forgiven you. Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear
children; And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath
given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a
sweetsmelling savour.
4. Teach your children the
importance of honesty in the various situations when human beings
are tempted to be dishonest. For instance, people lie most often
when it is easy to lie, when the truth is embarrassing, when we fear
rejection, when we are in a social setting, when we are around
others who are not truthful, or when we crave attention. Teach your
child to recognize how dishonesty leads to heartache, destruction,
and broken relationships. Emphasize how our God is a God of light
and truth and why Christians are to be lovers of truth. Discuss the
consequences of dishonesty in other people’s lives, how the Internet
makes dishonesty attractive and easy for businesses as well as
individuals. Show them when you spot online dishonesty and
misrepresentation—make it a game to find it so they will develop
awareness.
Proverbs 3:3-4 – Let not mercy and
truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the
table of thine heart: So shalt thou find favour and good
understanding in the sight of God and man.
Proverbs 12:22 – Lying lips are
abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight.
Proverbs 13:5 – A righteous man
hateth lying: but a wicked man is loathsome, and cometh to shame.
5. Teach your children the
limitations of any form of communication that does not include
hearing tones of voice or seeing facial or body “cues” while
listening to another personal speak. Teach them to identify topics
and circumstances that are problematic or should never be discussed
using e-mail, instant messages, or blogs. Fair speech (or typing)
might not look so “fair” if one were talking to the other person
face-to-face. Encourage your child to write a list of personal
computer network guidelines for himself so he doesn’t so easily fall
into the traps that have brought sorrow to others.
Proverbs 14:15 – The simple
believeth every word: but the prudent man looketh well to his going.
Proverbs16:17 – The highway of the
upright is to depart from evil: he that keepeth his way preserveth
his soul.
Proverbs 22:3 – A prudent man
foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on, and
are punished.
6. Teach your children
time-management principles. Teach them how to set and keep
priorities. Teach them the importance of exercising self-restraint
in controlling choices, preventing any activity from becoming a
“dominating” activity and weighing the long-term consequences of
activities we choose. Set reasonable limits on such nonessential
activities as TV, video games, phone conversations, or computer
usage. Purpose to help your children learn to govern their own
choices and time wisely so you as a parent no longer need to
establish rules regarding such things. Make sure your child is
developing a variety of interests rather than fixating on just one.
Make sure your child sees your planning how much time you will spend
on the computer and refraining and disciplining your own use.
Proverbs 13:4 – The soul of the
sluggard desireth, and hath nothing: but the soul of the diligent
shall be made fat.
Proverbs 25:16 – Hast thou found
honey? eat so much as is sufficient for thee, lest thou be filled
therewith, and vomit it.
1 Corinthians 9:25-27 – And every
man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things. Now
they do it to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible. I
therefore so run, not as uncertainly; so fight I, not as one that
beateth the air: But I keep under my body, and bring it into
subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others,
I myself should be a castaway.
7. Teach your children to
love and appreciate accountability. Teach them that God uses various
means of accountability to protect us from ourselves. Those who are
willing to confront us or to challenge us to exercise godliness in
all our words and actions are invaluable to us—even when they do so
in less than gracious or godly ways. (We need those “in your face”
people!) One good result of communicating on the Internet is that
our words and actions are not hidden and can be evaluated and
censured by a large audience (including parents and would-be
employers). This accountability forces us to evaluate much more
carefully than we would otherwise. Remind your children that words
and actions often come back to “haunt” those who are careless and do
not consider the ramifications of a public forum such as the World
Wide Web. Show them how many learned too late the nature and power
of a simple Internet search that could be conducted by literally
anyone. Many such searches have been devastating to one’s
reputation—sometimes for a very long time. It’s always best to
remember that you should never write anything anywhere that you
wouldn’t want others to read. Teach your child that his online
communications must be available to parents for his own protection
and that the computer will always remain in a public place—never in
a private bedroom. Demonstrate your need for accountability as well;
that’s why Internet safety features and filters are installed on
everyone’s computer. Reproof and correction are ways of life—for
parents as well as kids.
Proverbs 1:5 – A wise man will hear,
and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain
unto wise counsels:
Proverbs 6:23 – For the commandment
is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the
way of life:
Proverbs 12:15 – The way of a fool
is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is
wise.
Ephesians 4:14-15 – That we
henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about
with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning
craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive; But speaking the
truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the
head, even Christ:
Ecclesiastes 5:2 – Be not rash with
thy mouth, and let not thine heart be hasty to utter any thing
before God: for God is in heaven, and thou upon earth: therefore let
thy words be few.
8. Teach your children that
God holds us responsible for all our words and actions—whether they
are expressed in the privacy of our thoughts alone, in what we write
on the Internet, or in what we do and say in the presence of others.
Teach them the joys and freedom of living their lives in such a way
that they wouldn’t care who was watching them at any time, day or
night. Remind your children that God hears and weighs our smallest
words. Therefore, when someone points out a discrepancy in something
we write online, the confrontation should serve as a reminder that
God hears our thoughts as loudly as He hears our spoken words, sees
what we write just as He hears what we say, and holds us responsible
accordingly.
Matthew 12:34-37 – O generation of
vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the
abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. A good man out of the
good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil
man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things. But I say
unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give
account thereof in the day of judgment. For by thy words thou shalt
be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.
Colossians 4:6 – Let your speech be
alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought
to answer every man.
9. Teach your children
to exercise self-control and to avoid writing impulsive replies or
statements they may later regret. Show them that answering too
quickly can get all of us into lots of trouble we could have avoided
with restraint. The Internet makes hasty replies easy, and hasty
replies can be extremely inflammatory. Asking someone you trust (who
is able to be objective) to read your statement before you send it
is wise and helps keep one objective. We must exercise wisdom and
restraint when choosing what we say when, where, and how. Just
because something is true does not always give us the right to say
it, and saying the right thing in the wrong way or at the wrong time
doesn’t make it okay, either. Some things are inappropriate for us
to state publicly (as on the Internet) but are wise to keep private.
Other things are dangerous and foolish to say on the Internet
because the Internet is viewed by a variety of people: those who are
exceedingly vile and evil and those who are loving and righteous and
merely seek friendship.
Proverbs 14:29 – He that is slow to
wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit
exalteth folly.
Proverbs 15:1-4 – A soft answer
turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. The tongue of
the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out
foolishness. The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the
evil and the good. A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but
perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit.
Proverbs 21:23 – Whoso keepeth his
mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.
Proverbs 25:8-10 – Go not forth
hastily to strive, lest thou know not what to do in the end thereof,
when thy neighbour hath put thee to shame. Debate thy cause with thy
neighbour himself; and discover not a secret to another: Lest he
that heareth it put thee to shame, and thine infamy turn not away.
Proverbs 25:28 – He that hath no
rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and
without walls.
1 Timothy 6:3-4 – If any man teach
otherwise, and consent not to wholesome words, even the words of our
Lord Jesus Christ, and to the doctrine which is according to
godliness; He is proud, knowing nothing, but doting about questions
and strifes of words, whereof cometh envy, strife, railings, evil
surmisings,
10. Teach your children that
Christians should never associate with certain people or visit
certain places, such as bars and nightclubs, gambling casinos,
brothels, drug-infested alleyways, X-rated bookstores, massage
parlors, and the like. We keep far away from any place where we know
thieves, murderers, child molesters, rapists, and thugs hang out.
Likewise, there are places on the Internet where a Christian must
never go. These places are just as dangerous, if not more so,
because they are more easily entered. We can also be easily deceived
into thinking that we are observing, not participating. Christians
must watch where they go and to whom they talk and listen, whether
they are online, at home, at school, at work, on foot, in a car,
with friends, or all alone. When we stumble across evil, we should
run and tell, whether online or in our neighborhoods. We choose our
friends wisely, even when they are Internet friends. Knowing our
friends and associations becomes a reflection of our inner
character.
Psalms 101:3-4 – I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes:
I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to me.
A froward heart shall depart from me: I will not know a wicked
person.
Proverbs 4:14-17 – Enter not into the path of the wicked, and
go not in the way of evil men. Avoid it, pass not by it, turn from
it, and pass away. For they sleep not, except they have done
mischief; and their sleep is taken away, unless they cause some to
fall. For they eat the bread of wickedness, and drink the wine of
violence.
Proverbs 13:19 – He that walketh with wise men shall be wise:
but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.
Proverbs 14:7 – Go from the presence of a foolish man, when
thou perceivest not in him the lips of knowledge.
Proverbs 19:27 – Cease, my son, to hear the instruction that
causeth to err from the words of knowledge.
2 Corinthains 6:17-18; 7:1 – Wherefore come out from among
them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean
thing; and I will receive you, And will be a Father unto you, and ye
shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty. Having
therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves
from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in
the fear of God.
Ephesians 5:11-17 – And have no fellowship with the
unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them. For it is a
shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in
secret. But all things that are reproved are made manifest by the
light: for whatsoever doth make manifest is light. Wherefore he
saith, Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ
shall give thee light. See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as
fools, but as wise, Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.
Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the
Lord is.
2 Timothy 2:19-22 – Nevertheless the foundation of God
standeth sure, having this seal, The Lord knoweth them that are his.
And, Let every one that nameth the name of Christ depart from
iniquity. But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold
and of silver, but also of wood and of earth; and some to honour,
and some to dishonour. If a man therefore purge himself from these,
he shall be a vessel unto honour, sanctified, and meet for the
master’s use, and prepared unto every good work. Flee also youthful
lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them
that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
Romans 16:17-18 – Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them
which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye
have learned; and avoid them. For they that are such serve not our
Lord Jesus Christ, but their own belly[sensual appetites]; and by
good words and fair speeches deceive the hearts of the simple
[innocent, guiless].
Proverbs 22:5 – Thorns and snares are in the way of the
forward [rebellious]: he that doth keep his soul shall be far from
them.
11. Teach your children that
a computer “hug” or “smile” is nice, but it can never replace the
warmth of a real live hug or the joy of a real live smile. Then
demonstrate the many joys of interacting with loving and caring
family members in your home. Remember that children often “escape”
their dreary, oppressive home lives by entering cyberspace and
interacting with those who serve as substitutes for the real thing.
Psalm 133:1 – Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for
brethren to dwell together in unity!
Proverbs 15:17 – Better is a dinner of herbs [soup] where
love is, than a stalled ox [steak] and hatred therewith.
Proverbs 21:9 – It is better to dwell in a corner of the
housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.
Proverbs 24:3-4 – Through wisdom is an house builded; and by
understanding it is established: And by knowledge shall the chambers
be filled with all precious and pleasant riches.
Ephesians 5:1-2 – Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear
children; And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath
given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a
sweetsmelling savour.
12. Teach your children that
you care enough about them to be not only computer literate
but also computer proficient. Don’t let your child
experience the Internet alone. Walk with him, showing him the
obstacles, teaching him how to handle problems, guiding him in good
directions, learning new skills, and sharing new discoveries
TOGETHER. The parent of a child who knows more about the computer
than he does soon discovers that his child lives in a different
world. As a result, parental words of caution regarding anything
computer-related often go unheeded.
Proverbs 27:23 – Be thou diligent to
know the state of thy flocks, and look well to thy herds.
1 Peter 5:2-3 – Feed the flock of
God which is among you, taking the oversight thereof, not by
constraint, but willingly; not for filthy lucre, but of a ready
mind; Neither as being lords over God’s heritage, but being
ensamples to the flock.
